


Different

by 8lueCrush8lush



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-28 00:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8lueCrush8lush/pseuds/8lueCrush8lush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did it take this? Why didn’t you say anything before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different

It felt as though your entire world was crashing down.

In front of your very eyes, a friend, your best friend, had decided to take it upon himself to save everyone. That was something _you_ were supposed to do.

You were supposed to protect them all. Protect every single one of your comrades, so that none of you had to die. So that all of you, all twelve of you trolls, could live and continue on with your normal lives once this horrendous game was beaten. But you fail. You only had four of your friends left. It was soon to be three because the one in front of you was using everything he had, pushing himself, to save the survivors.

 Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you were watching your best friend, Sollux Captor, die.

There was no way you’d be able to stop him, no matter what you said or did his mind was made up. Just the sheer amount of energy he was putting into hurling the meteor towards the green sun, it was taking so much. Golden rivers were flowing from empty eye sockets, veins almost bursting as the boy overexerted himself.

Watching his life slowly drain, you stood frozen, memories flashing through your think pan faster than you would’ve like.

The different games that you would play, meeting up at one another’s hives. Hours spent in front of a screen, programming codes, only his would ever work, which pissed you off and simply made him laugh. All the stupid, pointless chats you would have online. Every petty fight that the two of you had that usually ended with you asking if you were still friends. Always insecure. Always afraid of losing him.

What now?

You snap your head up at a terrifying sound only to see more blood. More golden blood that you _never_ wanted to see from him. His eyes, they were still bleeding, and it seemed as though it would never stop, not accompanied by the blood from his mouth. Terezi moved first, getting to his side and attempting to hold him up. It really wasn’t that hard, his body was almost weightless, lifeless from the overexertion. Your feet move, so slowly, taking a few hesitant steps towards the two of them as Terezi leads them forward.

A soft murmur reaches your ears. It’s a continuous flow of your name.

“ _kk…kk…kk….”_

What in the hell was possessing him to talk? Couldn’t the prick see that he was almost dead? Talking would only speed up the process.

 _Goddamnit._

Your steps speed up, taking Sollux by the shoulders, Terezi moving to the side with her head dropped. She knew how this was going to end. All of them did, even Sollux himself, you just didn’t want to believe it. You didn’t want to believe that your best friend was dying and there was nothing you could do to help him, nothing you could do to turn back time and save him. Hell, if only you could go back and stop everyone from playing this game…

It sounds as though he’s attempting to speak again, and you really don’t have the heart to tell him to shut up, so you listen.

“kk, I never got to tell you..” His voice, it was so weak, strained and forced. Your heart was almost lurching out of your chest, hating to see him in this state. You were already biting back tears, not letting them be shown, but they were ready. Ready to fall. Ready to show your damned red mutant colour.

 _“how much I pity you…”_

You eyes widen. Your best friend, this entire time, had…

He goes limp in your grasp, and you can’t stop. The tears, cascading down your cheeks in unnatural torrents, arms, moving quickly and pulling the lifeless body against your own. You drop down to your knees, cradling him to your chest as your eyes are still locked forward. You can’t make any noise, you can’t do anything. The damn blood pusher inside your chest is aching, it feels as though it’s contorted, ready to stop at any moment.

How did you never notice?

How were you never able to put together the soft hints that the other was giving you?

Finally you move, burying your face in the damp mop of his hair, sobs finally getting choked out. Finally they were coming to the surface as the others were silent in their own grieving. God, you never felt more pathetic in your life, and now.. now you weren’t even able to reply to him. You couldn’t tell him exactly how much he meant to you.

Head lifting, you looked to the sky, anger slowly filling you. As loud as you could muster, despite your usually soft vocal cords that betrayed your typing, you sob/scream out, “FUCK.” That single obscenity described everything you were feeling. Fuck this game, the rules, the deaths, _everything_. Nothing made sense, nothing was the same.

You look back down, eyes softening before you lean down, lips connecting with Sollux’s forehead. Yes, a soft, gentle, different type of move, but you didn’t care. Fuck it. Fuck everything.

“I wish you could hear me. You’d get a damn kick of how stupid I sound..” You mutter, low enough to the point where the other trolls wouldn’t be able to hear you. You didn’t need them hearing this, you already hated the fact that you were showing so much weakness. “Sol, I pity you.. more than I should. But, goddamnit, why did it take this for us to say anything? Things..” You shake your head, you can’t say anymore, the tears are already falling again.

 _Things could’ve been different._

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually inspired by this post on tumblr-  
> http://twinarmagayddons.tumblr.com/post/12728832317/warning-eoa5-spoilers-and-also-sadstuck


End file.
